I often have solicitude about what to write next. But then a thought emerges or an event occurs and this happens:
Recently I have enjoyed conversations with at least two non-Christian friends which somewhat naturally veered into the spiritual realm. Interestingly, each of my friends grew up Catholic but abandoned their faith at a certain age due to tragedy in their lives. The fact they were Catholic is interesting as I also was raised Catholic. More on this later.
I suppose there are different levels of human tragedy intensity wise. Nonetheless, theirs caused life altering circumstances. Both of them, it seems, endured the sudden, tragic death of a loved one at a young age. Raw with emotion, they ultimately sought comfort from their priest. Sometimes priests/ pastors don’t have immediate answers and are prone to speak prematurely out of inexperience or compulsion to hastily comfort their parishioner. I discovered that the response my friends received was something sounding like Romans 8:28: All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Of course this remains a solid truth but not necessarily for this occasion. This was the reason given as to why my friends left the church and turned to more or less, agnosticism. They had fallen away from the Truth that had been pursuing them.
My friends had a lot on their minds as we spoke. Every thought they shared seemed to advance along an emotional roller coaster of grief, longing, frustration, anger, despondency, and finally irreplaceable loss. My instinct was to share evidences of God’s existence in the hopes they would listen to and trust Him. But in fact it was I who was not listening….to them. In their minds they had been hurt deeply by the very One I was pointing them to. Here’s where patience and understanding enter, stage left. They could not understand why a “supposedly good God” would take away their loved one prematurely, sometimes in a horrible way. My mind raced again. I reasoned in my thoughts, look at all the goodness God has created in nature or even the existence of emotional love in the first place. Those realities came from God, our Creator! But I promptly shut down my internal processing and just listened to my friends.
Each of them were at peace, in their minds, knowing that the blame had been “properly assigned” and their prior relationship with God, terminated. They were and are, more than happy to live the rest of their lives in pursuit of happiness and healing. When they pass on, they both expect to be greeted with nothingness. Of course this silently broke my heart.
Allow me to pause momentarily to tell you that I was raised Catholic. Perhaps the church I attended was one reason I veered into architecture. The church exterior was a beautiful stone edifice with an array of stained glass windows as one would expect to see in an older church. The inside was adorned with finished wood pews and additional wood and stone detailing throughout the sanctuary. Oh, and then there were the multitude of aromatic burning candles. It even felt “hallowed”! Yet it was only a building. I mention this because years later I discovered that the current temple of the Holy Spirit is the human heart, my heart included among many, fortunately. “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16-17. After accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior I came to understand that the physical church, and yes even the denomination itself, was not important. What was important was the pure message of truth being preached from the pulpit and the motivation of the beating hearts within its sanctuary. Without that, it's just a building. For even where two or three are gathered in His Name, He is there.
Continuing on, it is true that God predestines some to salvation: “He chose the church before the foundation of the world. He predestined us to adoption as sons (and daughters) through Jesus Christ to Himself, “according to the kind intention of His will” Eph. 1:4-5. But ALL are invited and none will be rejected if they call out His Name. “All that the Father gave Me shall come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out.” John 6:37. Sadly for now my friends are not yet ready for this truth. The scales remain on their steadfast eyes, held in place by unforgiveness and self worth. I have always found it fascinating how some folks accept the gospel almost immediately while others spend a lifetime in spiritual limbo, perhaps finally making a decision for Christ on their death bed. Many never at all. But I remind myself that only the Holy Spirit can reveal this truth. Only He can penetrate the heart of the unbeliever. “When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” John 16:13. The catalyst for this remains different for every individual. In case you’re wondering, for me it was through apologetics.
Meanwhile, I remind myself that God designed for us two ears and one mouth, with very good reason. Perhaps in the exercise of listening, with emotions released from their prison of isolation, will the heart soften and the Light begin to illuminate the soul. Emotional roots run deep. They need ample time to be uncovered and exposed to the Light. You and I can help shine that light if we listen first and then speak with spiritual wisdom.
Jim
Thank you, Jim, for the reminder and challenge. While I am known for listening to others, my replies can be perceived as overbearing and immovable. At 67 years of age, I continue to learn how to season my words with Grace. As a prophet type, that doesn't come easy.
Brother Jim, greetings, once again, by this forum! We are having conversations here, which I enjoy.
Your patient listening to your two friends reveals your wisdom. The sudden, unexpected loss of a loved one is traumatic, as an understatement. My empathy with them is real. I remember when I expressed my emotional and spiritual pain. The response was too often platitudes or silence.
My wife and I were Christian missionaries in Russia (10/1/1994 – 9/30/1999). My Mom became ill unexpectedly, on 12/28/1999. She endured so much suffering. As she was beginning to see “some light at the end of the tunnel,” in her words, on Thanksgiving 1999, Mom became ill, again, unexpectedly. Mom went “to see Jesus,” as her expressed desire, on 12/27/2000. I was age 40 and the oldest of three younger brothers.
“Light at the End of the Tunnel” is the title of my book, which I plan, Lord willing, to publish. I've worked on it, on and off, since 2002. (The title is a “Topic Section,” on my original website, which includes 19 articles so far.) At first, I didn't realize that I was writing a book. I was just writing, in pencil and on paper, to myself.
In the early years, after Mom's passing, I had stated that I still believed (in God, Jesus, salvation, and heaven), because Mom believed. Mom was the finest example of a Christian, whom I have ever known, and I have known many fine examples. I, however, became a “modified deist,” knowing that God existed but doubting his presence in this temporal realm. All my studies, writing, teaching, and preaching on the so-called “problem of evil” did not help with the providential question to God – why did Mom have to leave us, when we still needed her?
During my 22 years of ongoing thought and writing, however, my Christian faith returned fully and deepened, in steps. My spiritual struggle has been, and still is at times, real. I can't yet consider trials joy (James 1:2-4).
Near the conclusion of my yet unpublished book, I have written:
“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” (2 Corinthians 4:17, KJV). Paul, you endured far worse. I understand. This is one of my favorite verses. It is my theme verse for what I call the “everlasting perspective.” Thank you, Paul. I look forward to meeting you.
To this day, I don't understand why God acts in providence, at times and not at times, to prevent or to allow physical and moral evil, for his children. An appendix to my unpublished book is “Punctuated Providence,” in which I reflect on this mystery.
Jim, if your two friends would like to converse with me (by phone or email), then I am willing. The “Contact Form,” on my original website, could be the starting point. The loss of a dear loved one, too early in life, is the sorrow that we share. May God bless and guide us all. Eventually, the sorrows of this temporal life will be swallowed up in everlasting joy. I know that I will see Mom again, as well as so many who have already gone Home. We are just stuck here, enduring the temporal, a while longer, until its our turn to go Home.